Miss Axiom

She’s so fickle isn’t she?

For weeks you are obsessed with her. You become infactuated with her curves, her power, and infinite depths. She invites you in. She leads you to believe that you are getting to know her and your fear disappears.

Then suddenly she’s chewing you to bits and stealing the air out of your lungs. She has you wishing you didn’t set foot off land. She spits you out like the humble, insignificant, human that you are. She exposes every single weakness that exists in you.

No mercy.

Yet, we always return to her for more. Her seductive whisper lures us back. Conquer or be conquered; she makes you feel alive.

You always want them.                  

Always in the back of your mind.

The desire for the perfect wave is there; burning in your belly; kick-starting your heart.

You sit on your board, waiting. The precursor waves rolling underneath you.

Then you see one. It comes towards you at a decent speed. You feel it’s possibility in your veins. The effect it has on your body is remarkable. It hasn’t even touched you yet, but your breath becomes quick, adrenaline begins it’s havoc, and your heart begins to race. And no matter the wave, you always hope that this might be it; the one you were meant for.

So you paddle. You read the wave’s position, and you read your own. You’re confirming that it all lines up. And when it does, you paddle your ass off. You’re drugged by the smell of it’s possibility and you work for it.

Sometimes you’re so horny for it and flustered. You can’t think straight so you don’t even pop up before it’s gone.

Sometimes you think you have it; you begin your pop up, but you shifted wrong and you pearl. You face plant right into the face of the wave. You fall hard and it pummels you. You recover. These ones can hold you under until you can’t breathe, the wave turns you upside down and you have no idea where gravity went. It throws you off. It shakes your confidence. Even after you find your board and you’re regaining your senses, you can still taste the wave in your mouth.

And, at times, a wave can look quite promising. You seem to know it’s going to peak, so you paddle like an idiot for it. It ramps up and you get all excited. But then, it just fattens out and slinks underneath you. These fickle waves will will stir up an annoyed anger. But you’re not mad at the wave. You’re mad at yourself for misreading it. You’re embarrassed that you put so much energy into catching it, just to have it roll by not even aware of how much it teased you.

There are ones, though, that you do catch. You pop up and balance. The ride can be quite brief. The wave will close out. Or the timing is just off, or the wave pushes to hard, or you push too hard and you fall. On some of them, distraction can lead you into the impact zone and the wave throws down.

This is where the learning curve is the greatest. You had sometime to get to know the wave, and in return yourself. You learn why the wave didn’t work. It could have been your sketchy foot placement, your knees may have been too straight, or it could have been the wrong wave for your skill set, style, or board. Maybe you just didn’t want it bad enough. Perhaps you just couldn’t commit. Either way, you learn from these waves and apply that knowledge to the next ones. Regardless how each ride turns out, you take from the experience. You catalogue, in your mind, the good parts. You take note of the conditions and the manuevers that you made to make the ride sweet.

So, maybe, when that epic wave comes, the one with unmatched beauty, you can recognize it and be ready for it. You might see it coming from over the horizon and be able to prepare. Or, you might not realize how awesome and one-of-a-kind it is until you’re carving into it’s beautiful green face. You’ll be able to enjoy the wave for what it is though. You don’t have to think too much about what you are doing because you are experienced and the wave seems to work with you. This wave is enjoying you as much as you are it. And when you maneuver, you maneuver together. You’re exchanging energy with this wave. You’re in it. Your heart is singing. This is why you surf. This is why you live; to be in this shining moment with this amazing wave. With every second that passes your disbelief increases. Every second is a gift. Why do you deserve to ride this wave for so long? It’s a beautiful, lengthy ride. It’s comfortable and exhilarating. You want this feeling forever.

In life, though, nothing is forever; waves crash, things die and the sun sets. It’s a sad truth. But it makes the good moments great. It makes you try to catch the uncatchable wave. You take the pain for the pleasure. You get worked for the ride. You swallow the salt water so you can breath in the sea spray.